The Tiger Woods Affair

If there were an innocent explanation for what happened, Tiger Woods would have already come forward with it. There is no innocence, alas.

It won't be for a long time, if we ever know what really happened the night Tiger Woods crashed his Cadillac Escalade into that fire hydrant and then crashed into that tree outside of his mansion in Florida. Chances are, though, that we will never hear the truth from Tiger or from Elin Woods.

Yet the gossip website TMZ is reporting the story as if someone on the inside is talking:

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

Because no pictures of Tiger's face have emerged since the car accident, it's impossible to know if the cuts on his lips are consistent with a car crash. However, two cut lips and no other facial wounds from a car accident sounds incredible to me. I can't imagine how exactly that would have happened. If his face had smashed into the windshield hard enough to cut his lips, he would have had a broken nose or jaw or some other severe facial lacerations. Yet the medical reports indicate that his only wounds were to his mouth. If his face had smashed into the steering wheel hard enough to slice open his lips, I would think the airbags would have deployed. Yet they did not. And considering the reports of Tiger's marital infidelity and the reports that his wife was wielding a golf club that night, cut lips and a bloody mouth strike me as being far more consistent with her having hit him with that golf club.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

TMZ's "source" may be a complete fraud. However, the story the source tells fits better with the known evidence than the idea that Tiger innocently crashed his car twice on his own street and his wife just happened to be up, heard the noise and ran out with a golf club to save him.

Also, if she used the golf club to break open a window to save her husband, why break open back windows on both the driver's and passenger's sides of the SUV? Once she broke open one window, she could have reached in and unlocked the car.

We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

The prescription pills' story jives with the fact that Tiger was out cold on the street and that after the EMT's woke him up he was still passing out.

Because I doubt there is any kind of an innocent explanation for this entire affair, Tiger Woods and his wife have a strong incentive to never talk about it. That's their right, of course. However, by keeping silent, they are saying aloud that they have something embarrassing to hide.

Question: What is the over/under for their divorce date?